DEPTHS OF ILLUMINATION

I am filled with ripples of sadness. Life is supposed to be one of joy, yet the more I try to stay positive and grateful, the harder things become.

Finally, I cry out, “I give up! I don’t want this life of anguish any more. Help me, God, Divine, Universe, Angels…Whoever! I am letting go of control!”

Immediately waves of sorrow crash over my body wracking it with inconceivable pain. A weight above my head pushes me below the surface of the dark waters of my mind. Fear overtakes me as air flees my lungs. I flay my arms and legs, thrashing the murky threatening water into a raging torrent of foam. I have no strength left to fight this invisible foe. The roaring clamor like a rushing freight train fills my ears.

“This is what it must feel like to die,” comes my frantic thought.

The weight above me…the combined worries of my life…have overtaken me at last. The air in my lungs is depleted. I know the next breath will fill my lungs with the darkness of my inner self and I will die. This is the moment that I relax and stop fighting.

It is then that I hear a voice say, “Open your eyes.”

I obey and see in front of me a beautiful face. She is the most exquisite creation I have even beheld. The radiance around her makes her appear as if she were illuminated by an inner light.

She takes my hands in hers and says, “Look at me and relax. You can breathe the waters around me in safety.”

Knowing the only options are to thrash about until my lungs burst or trust this beautiful being, I do as she instructs.

As if in a trace, I lock eyes with her and I am immediately lost in the warmth and depth of her love. With nothing to lose except fear, I take a deep breath filling my lungs with the murky waters around me. To my surprise, tingles of joy filter throughout my body. The water feels more nurturing to me than the fresh breeze drifting over the ocean. I breathe out and then in again as I am filled with the wonder of this miracle. My face must have mirrored my surprise.

She looks at me and smiles, “You asked for Divine help and I am here. You are breathing in all aspects of who you are. As long as you continue to give up control and allow me to guide you, you will be safe. Breathe in all parts of who you are, and draw strength from your ‘dark’ side, without drawing the negative aspect of that part. Come, let us go deeper.”

For a moment, I felt the edge of fear intruding and then recognize it as the negative aspect of my ‘dark side’. I know it is not a part of me that I wish to embrace, so I go deeper with my companion.

Hand in hand we swim through the depths. I encounter indescribable colors illuminated with intense lights. These components of my being had been submerged by my own fear.

“I have seen some of these things before, but they were previously ugly and dull,” I say to my guide.

Her musical laugher reminds me of a tinkling waterfall. “Look at yourself,” she replies. “Your inner light is shining on those things, making them gleam with brightness.”

I look at myself and see I now am shinning with the same luminosity as my companion who continues to hold my hand. My light is shinning on those things that had once held a place of fear within my soul. It brings forth the beauty in them as it ignites my spirit with joy!

“Take what is good as you swim to the surface. You can return at anytime to draw power from this part of yourself. Fear can never hold you down, for you have explored the darkest depths of your soul and returned a more powerful and peaceful person,” my companion clarifies.

She swims with me to the surface and I take a deep breath of pure oxygen from the air.

“I will be with you whenever you need me to infuse you with Divine Light. Just take one more breath,” she says.

I take a deep breath and brilliant lights explode around me permeating my vision with exquisite rainbows. I am saturated with more joy, laughter and happiness than I have ever experienced. I feel the essence of my companion’s Divine warmth and love inside my mind, body and spirit, though her being is no longer in my sight.

From this day forward I will glow with an inner radiance of Divine Light. This empowers me to illuminate all dark and fearful areas of myself and others. United we can all reflect the warm glow of Divinity and bring peace and joy to the world.


~Archangel Anael~ through Morgana Starr 2010