ESCAPING THE ABUSE

I remember living in a cave of darkness within my own mind. It was not a comfortable darkness. It was damp and uncomfortable. The ground was rough and hard. But if I sat curled in the deepest corner, he did not yell at me too much. He liked me being there, so rarely did I feel the crushing blow of his strong hand.

However, in the distance I could see a pale golden light from time to time. I could hear beautiful music that would awaken a longing in my heart. One day...the breeze brought the scent of sweetness to my nostrils. 

I decided I would crawl towards it. The closer I got to the light, the higher the ceiling in my cave appeared. I slowly was able to stand erect, though it cause muscles unused for years to scream out in pain. The music and sweet aroma drew me on.

Then the light was suddenly blocked by darkness. The scent was replaced by the stench of an unwashed male body. Yelling drowned out the sound of the heavenly music. As his fist connected with my jaw, blood filled my mouth and I fell to my hands and knees.

"Where do you think you are going? You belong to me! Go back and get to work pleasing me!" came his guttural snarls.

I quickly made my way back to my safe dark corner. Long ago I had learned defiance only brought more beatings and pain.  Curled in a fetal position I rocked myself forwards and backwards, trying to find some solace in the place I must live. Many people had called to me from the place of light. Some would tell me just to be strong. Some would berate me for not just getting out of there. None seemed to understand how hard it was to get past the man of pain.

Then I heard a soft whisper in my ear.

"There is another way to get out so he will not see and stop you. Shh...just listen. You can not see me, can you?" came the gentle voice.

I shook my head.

"I am cloaked...here look for a moment. I will unveil the front of me, but he will not see me, because I will keep the cloak on the back," she continued.

For a moment I saw a flash of such unworldly beauty, I felt as if I was in heaven. I could not understand the colors, for I had lived in a world of darkness. I just knew I wanted to see more. In the next instant, she disappeared from sight.

Before I could panic she said, "I am still here, my dear one. Your life is slowly fading from your eyes in this darkness. Here...my cloak is large. I will cover you with it and together we will walk out of here."

Feelings of panic swept over me. Excitement that I could escape at last. But mostly fear pervaded my body and spirit. I had never been any place but here in my life! What would I do out of the cave? How would I survive? Though the man beat me regularly...it was something I was familiar with. And he also fed me regularly. At least my body wasn't starving. I began to tremble and found it hard to breathe.

My new friend sensed all this and drew closer. "Here, just for a moment, let me put my cloak over you," she whispered.

I felt a softness like I had never experienced engulf me. The sweet aroma I had smelled previously swept over me. I felt a warmth and there was a fluttering behind me.

She giggled quietly, "Never mind my wings. Sometimes they tickle."

I still found it hard to see her, but was able to make out her eyes. They were full of wisdom and love. But I could also sense a deep power under them. Like a volcano that could erupt in an explosion of fury.

"Are you ready to go with me?" she asked. Tuning into my fears she assuaged them by saying, "I will never leave you, my dear. I will go with you and teach you how to dance in the Light. I will take care of you, little one."

I nodded my head and whispered my acquiescence. I felt her arm enfold me and I felt stronger then ever before. I could feel her soft breath on my face and it felt as if it was my own. We quietly crawled, then walked towards the light. I saw the dark man look over in our direction cocking his head as if he had heard something. We paused until he looked away. Then we more quietly continued. Two more times my heart caught in my throat as he looked our way. Each time I felt my new friend's wings wrap around me. I felt her heartbeat calm mine.

Finally, we reached the opening and stepped into the glorious light!  A few more steps brought us to the middle of a clearing. The beauty and glory around me was almost more than I could take in. I looked around in amazement! I could still feel the energy of my friend and her wings around me.

Then I heard my friend's voice. I was startled because I heard it come from a short distance away. "You can take your cloak off now, little one," she said.

I pushed the cloak back from my face and let it drop to the ground around my feet. I saw her standing in front of me under a beautiful blooming tree.

"How did you get there?" I asked in confusion.

"I was waiting for you here," she laughed.

"But you were with me. I felt you, I felt your heart beat, I felt your wings!" I continued perplexed.

"Yes you did, little one. I loaned you my heart and wings, until you didn't need them anymore. Look, you have your own!" she declared with a radiant smile.

It was then that I turned my head and beheld a huge pair of beautiful wings coming from my shoulder blades! I noticed I had no fear. My heart was full of love and joy!

"See...I only loaned you the energy you needed until you were strong enough to remember who you are! Come now, my dear one...let us fly together. It is time for you to SOAR!!!"

And with that, my wings extended and flexed as I leaped to the heavens to fly with the Angels!

CHILDREN...OUR TEACHERS

Children... Children...They pull at our heart strings. We devote our lives to them. They grow up and leave the nest. Sometimes they return. Sometimes they linger in the nest longer than is comfortable for them and us. Then resentment overflows into the home causing unnecessary strife.

When they are young, like all young creatures, they are adorable. As they experience growing pains, we experience it with them. We call them 'our' children. But they are not 'ours'. They are only in our charge for a few years. 

When they turn eighteen years of age, we continue to try to own them by telling them how to run their lives. We tell ourselves it is because we are wiser and know better. In actuality it is because we have issues with control. We are not respecting them as adults whom are to learn and grow in their own way with the experiences they invite into their lives.

The hardest part is when we have children or grandchildren that are under eighteen. We feel it is our responsibility to take care of them. Circumstances at times are created in our lives that pull those children from us. Then we live in a world of guilt and misery. 

We forget the grand scheme of life here on this planet. The game that goes beyond the physical and into the realm of spirit. Our children are spirits just as much as are we. They had a part in the contract that was woven into our blueprint. They decided they would be our teachers as much as we would teach them.

They are assisting us in learning about true unconditional love (love with no control), forgiveness of others and ourselves, letting go of expectations, and allowing each person to exemplify their own idea of Divinity.

We have lived many lifetimes. In many of those lifetimes we have had children and grandchildren. Perhaps even hundreds over the centuries. This lifetime these souls chose to re-incarnate with us and we with them. Be grateful for the experience. 

Remember they are on their own path. We must release them to learn what they need...even if that means their lives no longer weave back into our lives. For in another lifetime we will greet them again, though in another role in the game of life...perhaps as good friends or parents. But whatever role that will take...it will better because of letting your children be their own person in this lifetime.

COMPUTER ANGEL

Once again I was given confirmation that the work I do for the Angels is not about me. This is a mission and for that reason it takes more than one person to make it work. Many people have gifts that have volunteered to be a part of the Angel Mission.

Our Website designer...Laura Aquilino is amazing. She updates the site and is always looking for ways to tweak it and make it better. When the classroom air-conditioned went down, Audrey Tobi Jones Baker, donated a new one. There are so many others that have donated time and talent, that I can't list them here...just know I and the angels honor and love you for all you do.

The latest angel miracle of the angel mission I want to share with you all in a bit more detail.

Last week I was working on my computer to get the newsletter finished. I paused for a moment to ponder on my hourly price. I have been told by many that my prices are less than half of others that do not have my background or experience. Since we live in a physical world, I have car payments and more to deal with. I do several sessions at reduced or free, but find it increasingly difficult at times to keep up with expenses. (It costs me over $300 a year just for business licensing and I just got slapped with a $400 late fee on the state license...they are not lenient at all).

All that being said...the angels told me to leave the price as is for now. Later they may be ready for it to be raised, but not now.

Shortly after that I spilled a bit of water from a bottle onto my laptop. It went ahead and worked for a bit, then died. I called a specialist and followed his advice to dry it out. Then tried not to freak out, as a large majority of my business is done via the computer, and there was no extra in the account to get a new one. I reminded the angels that this was their mission and if they wanted me to continue, they had to provide. I could hear the soft whisper of Anael telling me not to worry. So I relaxed and went about my day.

Unbeknownst to me at the same exact time of my water spill...my friend and occasional student (a very advanced being) Bill Isak, was wandering through Wal-Mart looking for a blender. He was led to the computer area. He felt the nudging of spirit to purchase a laptop, though he told them he didn't need one. Since he is advanced, he listened and bought one...carefully using his intuition to pick out the exact one they told him. He was a bit curious as to why he bought one as he drove home with it in his car.

Before getting out of his car in his driveway, he checked Facebook with his iphone. as soon as he saw my post about the dead laptop, he said he knew why he got the computer. He called me right away, told me not to worry, that he had my laptop in his car.

 

I must admit I was overcome with tears of humbleness at his gift. He drove right over with it. Bless his wonderful heart...he seemed confused that anyone would have done differently. He said, "I just listened to Spirit. Anael really is watching after you."

So thanks to our Angel Bill...I can continue to do this work, uninterrupted. I am constantly honored and humbled at the wonderful earth angels that help this work continue to lift spirits and encourage a life of joy and peace. Thank you ALL my beautiful Earth Angels!

CLEANSING FULL MOON

If you have been feeling extra emotional the last couple of days, give yourself a pat on the back. We have a full-moon coming up on Saturday. Normal people feel the effects of the full moon two days before and two days after its peak. Spiritual people can feel the energy of the full moon up to a week prior and afterwards.

That being said, this coming full moon is called a perigee moon or a Super moon. It means it comes closer to the earth and will appear larger. Since the moon is related to our tides, it is predicted it will have approximately 42% more effect on our tides. It will appear 14% bigger and 30% brighter than the regular full moons.

Remember that a large percent of our bodies are made up of water. Water rules emotions. So guess what friends?  We will be releasing a lot of emotions in the next few days!  Yes, some of them will be issues you thought you already released. This moon will have a way of going deep to make sure you get 'clean' so to speak...but only if you allow it.

Make sure you take the time to write down one thing you want to let go of this full moon. It is time to be moving on and to be filled with joy and light. But first we must let the waters cleanse us and make room.

ALLOWING HEALING

If we are truly Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience…why are we so quick to run in there to ‘fix’ the human experience for someone. Perhaps we should consider that our ‘fixing’ is meddling in their Spirit’s Evolution. They may need to go through emotional or physical pain for the sake of their soul. 

True healers have no ego or agenda. They facilitate healing of the spirit first. Then the outer core (the human shell or vehicle) can begin to heal. What has to be considered is that though a client may say they want healing they really may not. That is when a healer must learn to detach and let the client participate in the healing they need.  

It isn’t easy emotionally to heal past abuses from one’s life…this life or previous ones. It is also challenging to change thought patterns and habits in one’s life. Many times we will pull back to us someone or experience that we are comfortable with just as we are beginning to ascend to a higher vibration. This is why an abused woman will return to the one that abuses her.

Remember abuse comes in many forms. Sometimes it is physical. Most of the time it comes in belittling the person. Emotionally and mentally putting the other person down, so they feel they cannot live without their abuser is the most vicious form of abuse.

I pulled that energy to me over and over again in my past. I even let it extend to my work relationships as well as my girlfriends. It is so hard to break that energy pull. But as long as we invite that energy into our lives we are tying the wings of our angels, so they cannot help us.

As I peeled the layers of past life memories, healing them…I began to feel lighter. Then I began to heal from issues in this lifetime. Slowing I began to worry less about what others thought of me. I kept my focus on the angels and feeling peaceful.

Yes, there are times that I still feel the pull of drama. For being a victim one stays in a place of drama. I miss the familiarity of the energy. Not struggling is a new sensation for me.  But haven’t we come here to experience all aspects of life?

I don’t know about you….but I have experienced enough drama and emotional abuse. I am ready to experience love and peace now.

LESSONS OF THE SOUL

We have to remember that each person’s journey is about them. It is not about how we can use their challenges to bring attention to us.  Have you ever talked with someone that is depressed and they tell you the reason is because of a problem a friend is dealing with? When you chat more you discover this ‘friend’ is someone they are only a little acquainted with!

As a Healer also, it has caused me to ponder on how we as Spiritual Beings approach Healing. A person may have been diagnosed with Cancer or something else thought to be incurable. There are lessons each soul has to learn with each dis-ease they have. Sometimes it can simply be that soul decided to experience an incurable dis-ease and how it effects those around them.

We consider a successful healing only when the physical body is healed. If the person makes the choice to move to walk through the door and enter heaven, we as healers can feel we have failed. Sometimes that feeling comes from our own need to have successes to show what a powerful healer we are. (more on this later). Other times it comes from us not understanding what true healing is all about.

So let us ponder on this…What is true healing and how can we help facilitate that for another person?  Continued tomorrow…